In Our Darkest Hour

This was posted late last year, but I want to post it fresh here on my new blog. It originally was posted on asamom.org by me, as my original work.

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Do you know how one sentence from a sermon can resonate with you? Well, that happened with me yesterday. Let me explain. Our sermon was on the prodigal son. The title was, "What is God Really Like?" Our pastor wanted to concentrate on aspects of the father in the story, not the returning son. The sentence that hit me was, God will be in the dark places with us.

I am a believer in the fact that things happen for a reason. I have had some bad things happen in my past, but I would not trade them for anything. They have made me who I am. If time travel were possible, I would not go back and change one single thing. I have been molested as a child. My abuser was not jailed until I was in my early 40's, and it was not for molestation but for transporting child pornography across state lines. I'm not sure they even know about the molestation. No one knows but my friends and family, and I didn't tell anyone until I was a young adult. I know that Jesus held me through those days. I know what God smells like, and feels like.

I've almost died, having a high fever of 107.9. I've almost walked off a mountain when I was three. I've almost drowned. I've been called on the phone by Ted Bundy (yes, you read that right). I learned about the identity of the caller upon hearing his voice when he was about to be executed. My mom heard the voice and agreed because she was in on the original call. It's not a voice you would forget. I've been diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer, and God got me through it, to be down graded to stage III.

Now, you may be wondering what this has to do with our nation. Our nation is about to go through some dark times. I know that I've been through dark times, though they may not compare with what's ahead. I know that my dark times may not even compare with stories of others' dark times. But I know one thing. I also have a history of God holding my hand through the storms. If the Bible has taught me nothing else, it is that God is the same then, and now, and forever. If he held me as a 5 year old being molested, and got me through that when I was, by human standards, alone in a basement, He will hold me as a 45 year old with a nation of other moms behind me. If he held me above the water long enough for my aunt to reach me so I wouldn't drown, he will hold me with other veterans standing with me as I fight for my nation's freedoms. If he gave me the strength and wisdom as a 15 year old to tell Ted Bundy I didn't want to meet him in a warehouse, he will give me the courage to blog and stand against my Democrat family and be the only Republican who sees what's going on and risk being called the crazy one. I want to be wrong, and be called the crazy one. I don't want my aunt to lose her 23 acres because Obama doesn't want private land ownership. I don't want my cousin to be told where to be a nurse because he took a government grant, because I was right and my mom told me I was seeing black helicopters.

If you don't have that faith, if you don't have that background of faithfulness, you can look to the consistency of those like me. There are other stories like mine. If you look to your own life, you can see small miracles in your own past. Look deep. My son was born with a whole in his heart so big he didn't have a murmur. The didn't know if he was going to live 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 months. He'll be 20 in May. I've been through dark times, and I've survived. So will this nation.

In My Darkest Hour
By Lori Smith

In my darkest hour
You were there to weep with me.
In my darkest hour
You were there to sleep near me.

You sent your dear angels
To comfort me and hold me.
You gathered the forces through prayer
And gave them the words they told me.
As they prayed over me,
I felt You wrap Your arms around me.
As they tarried, though they could have left,
I felt Your love and care surround me.

In my darkest hour
You were there to weep with me.
In my darkest hour
You were there to sleep near me.

I felt Your presence through
Those You rallied and sent to me.
I realized all the time I have,
Is only the time that You have lent to me.
I take comfort in knowing
That all things will work for Your Glory.
I don’t ask to know the details,
For You've already told me the end of the story.

In my darkest hour
You were there to weep with me.
In my darkest hour
You were there to sleep near me.