I Took My Ball and Went Home

I guess it was bound to happen. I just expected it on this blog, not a safe zone where it was supposed to be all conservatives; like minded women. I won't mention the site, because liberals will claim that the movement is falling apart. But, you see, I think they plant their own people in these movements, cause havoc, then claim that the movement is falling apart.

I posted my blog about the code violations on another site that I'm on. It's supposed to be preaching to the choir. I only posted it because someone else posted about being a sunshine patriot. Are you prepared to be a patriot in fair weather and rough times? Well, yes. I believe I was picked on because of my sign on the front of my house, and because my house made the news for my flag being upside down and the stance I took. I was not disrespecting my flag. Our nation was in distress when the Democrats can lock out a portion of the United States and their views and write bills that don't include them. That's fascism. That's dangerous. I considered or nation in distress. We live in America, it's my right to demonstrate the way I want.

She took offense, and used her freedom of speech to comment on my blog. However, she also used poor blog etiquette, and turned her comment on my blog into a blog in it's own right, so that the whole site would see her reem me out. I wasn't aware of her blog at first. I commented back, stating that I was a Veteran of the United States Navy, and earned the right to fly my flag however I chose. I tracked submarines during the cold war, yada, yada, yada, and my husband served 20 years in the Navy. This household is well aware of flag regulations, and don't lecture me on patriotism. Then, I went to research her, and find that she turned her comments into a blog, so I reposted those exact comments on that blog, too.

So, she comes back, only on my blog, and diss's my service to the Navy, saying tracking boggy submarines isn't serving my country. Tell it to the Viet Nam veterans who bled for their country. Well, Missy, if it weren't for me, you'd be speaking Russian.

So, long story, short, it threw me into a post traumatic stress episode, which threw me into an epileptic seizure. Seems I only have a seizure when I go into a PTSD episode. So I've been inside my own head for the last couple days trying to figure out how she did it. How she managed to do what the flaming liberals haven't been able to do since I've been fighting for my country. You see, I don't know about other PTSD victims, but if I can figure out how an episode relates back to the original trauma, I can come out of it. So, every time it sparks one, not only do I have to relive the words that caused it over and over and over and over and over (that's the nature of PTSD), I have to go back to the original trauma and relive it while I sort out what the similarities are that would remind me of it in the first place. PTSD means you replay the words over and over, like a tape recorder in your head, or in this case a video, and there is no erase button. For my health I had to cut all ties with that site. I took down all my blogs (I have copies) which erased all the comments that she put up. I don't care. So the only copies I have are now running in my head. So what? They'll eventually stop. They always do.

PTSD is a strange beast. It rears it's ugly head in the strangest of places. I had thought that this site was a save zone. That's possibly the connection. It's like getting fragged in your bunk by friendly fire. For civilians, fragged is when someone throws a grenade in your bunk. My husband gets the "you're not a real veteran because you didn't serve in Viet Nam" bull crap all the time from liberal Viet Nam veterans.....mostly only the ones who are LIBERALS. I only have heard it from the ones who got drafted. Guess what? I volunteered to serve my country, no one drafted me. My husband volunteered 5 TIMES! to serve his country. He didn't come out hating his country, or with an axe to grind.

If Obama suddenly had a flash of insight and started supporting the constitution (I know, it would be a miracle, but....) I would become his biggest supporter. Of course, there would be out of necessity, a proving time, because he's lied so long. I don't hate the man, I hate the policies. If he stood up to Congress, and started doing what this country needed to recover, I'd support everything I thought we needed. I just know he's not going to do it. He's a socialist. He has an agenda that HE believes is best for the country, that will bring us to some utopia, but it's a lie. We all see it, why can't he? Socialism doesn't work. When the people can't work for a surplus, they don't work. They won't work for their neighbor's pocket. Jamestown proved it, they almost starved out.

If this woman who attacked me had bothered to look up any of my blogs before she attacked me and called me a progressive (actually told me to go my progressive way), she would have realized that I tried to give a history lesson on progressives. It's up here on my site if you want to look it up. Progressives in History. But she was too worried about stirring the pot to and making the conservative movement look like it's falling apart to worry about facts.

That's the sign of a liberal. They make you mad, and try to make you look bad. She fights like a liberal, argues like a liberal, smells like a liberal, gee, must be a liberal. I took my ball and went home.

______________________________

As an update, it's now February 22 and I've finally put the PTSD behind me because I've finally figured out what sparked it. My PTSD is not military related. I can hear her now if she ever comes here and reads this. She'll think I'm trivializing PTSD. I had a REALLY friend in the mid-90's who helped me through my first flashback episode or I would have thought I was on a really bad acid trip. He was a Viet Nam veteran and explained all this flashback stuff for me. I was dealing with repressed memories coming forward from childhood abuse. This friend was as close as any person could be and not be a lover. As a matter of fact I was the only one besides another friend who was a police officer who could talk him down from his own PTSD episodes.

But, I digress. I figured out what it was. This lady who attacked me had said that "We always tell everyone to display a 50 ft "Don't tread on me flag" instead of turning their flag upside down." Who is she to tell everyone what to do? Is she a self proclaimed leader of the Tea Party movement? Did she just proclaim herself dictator? Glenn Beck warned everyone there would be people who would try to take the horns of the movement for their own purposes. The beauty of our "movement" is that we don't have a leader. We are AMERICANS. We are Independent. We have brains of our own. I was abused by someone just like that, who thought she knew so much better than everyone else what we needed, including my mother. We have a president like that. And this woman thought *I* was the progressive. She wants to be everyone's big sister, or mother and let them know what's best, because they surely don't know themselves....the definition of progressive.

A Look Into My Diary

I have scattered thoughts today. It's raining and the rain always makes me blue. I remember when I used to sit and knit in the rain. Now the rain brings different thoughts. America has been in a deep sleep; a sleep of a winter of inattention to governmental issues. We've let things go. Is it too late? Phrases run through my head for blogs, for research. There are just so many things to do. I feel the weight of these issues on my generations' shoulders. What if we're right? I don't care if we're wrong. I'll take the ridicule. I hope we're wrong. I want to be the crazy lady in the family.

But the more research I do, the more scared I get. And I have clung to ideals for so long that are crumbling. I had thought I was safe, on the right side of politics. I was a Republican. I became a Republican during the Reagan era. But ideals come crashing down....

Socialists are sneaky people...they masquerade as Republicans too. The previous administration has put into place the beginnings that are being built on. We thought these things were good, but didn't see how they could be corrupted in the wrong hands. We saw it in "good" hands. But were the hands good, or just slow acting? Is it just as evil to transform into a socialist nation if you do it slowly? But where are the people from the left who were screaming that Bush was bad, evil, terrible, now that Obama is doing all the same things, only faster? Where are the people who compared Bush to Hitler, when Obama is doing the same things, only faster? I am willing to apologize for not seeing in Bush the socialistic programs. I was blinded by party. Why can they not see it in their party? I admit that I was a yellow dog Republican. I voted for the "R" on the ballot. I won't make that mistake again. It's sort of like when people ask why are you a Christian? And you can't answer. I can answer now. I want small government. I want low spending. I am pro-life. I am conservative. I am pro-business. I want lower taxes. And that last one isn't just so I have more money and can buy more things. If the people have more money, everyone has more money; business has more money to invest, people have more money to spend on the economy, the economy grows. Ronald Reagan proved it.

But the left aren't screaming now about the socialist agenda. They have an agenda. They want to fundamentally change America. And watch, they will change their name when socialist becomes a dirty name. I believe the next name is progressive, or even, what was the new one? Populist. I guess they are trying to convince everyone that they are popular. Even though they are in a minority, they have their little circle of friends. They have surrounded the President with yes-men. Yes, Mr. President, we did a poll and everyone agrees with your agenda. All of America wants it. It emboldens him to push for his agenda. Did they poll average America?

But I have to keep my spirits up. Even through the rain. There is a rain of discontent across America. We are waking up. Am I helping? Is anyone out there? Sometimes I feel as though I'm screaming inches away from a brick wall, instead of on the Ramparts. But it's like the story where God asked the man to push against the rock. He pushed and pushed and it never moved. Days went by which turned into weeks, which turned into months, which turned into years. He got discouraged, but he never stopped pushing. I don't remember what happened in the story, if something happened that his strength was tested, but it came about that the rock didn't need to be moved, the man needed to be strong. He asked God, why did you need me to move the rock? I tried with all my might and it never moved. God answered, I never asked you to MOVE it, I asked you to push against it.

I'm doing what I feel I've been asked to do. I wasn't told anyone would hear me, just that I should write. I'm doing that. I sure wish I could convince someone, or wake up someone, because writing alone won't save America.

I've said it before, I didn't fight for America in the Navy, tracking submarines in the cold war and making sure they didn't get too close to our coastline, to watch it become a socialist nation. We watched Russia fall. Is our generation going to get to watch America fall?

Military Views

I've been open about my military experience. I was in the United States Navy from 1984 through 1988. It's been a while. I was an Ocean System Technician, Analyst. The rate doesn't exist anymore. My husband was in the Navy between 1981 through 2001. He was an Engineman. I only got to the rank of E-4. I PNA'd E-5 by .23 points. That's passed but not advanced. That means I passed the test to advance in rank, but enough other people also passed the test that they looked at the brownie points, how their superiors rated them, and I didn't rate as well as everyone else did. You see, I could do my job really well, but I didn't play the political game as well as everyone else did. Can you imagine that, knowing me now? There was one ribbon that I won, but wasn't allowed to wear because I wasn't a mobile unit that had I been allowed to actually wear it, I would have been advanced to E-5. I don't remember what it was now....my memory isn't as good as it once was. Would that have made a difference in me staying in? Probably not. You see, the OTA rate was full of prima donas.

Let me explain that statement. I was listening to my rate complain about barracks furniture not being up to their standards, while I dated a man telling me stories about hot racking it. Hot racking it is when 4 men are assigned to 3 beds. You have to wake up the person relieving you, so you have somewhere to sleep. You either change the sheets, or sleep in the same sheets he got out of. As a woman......ICKKKK. They were prima donas. I had originally tried to come into the Navy as a photographer. I tested too high, so they tried to put me into a highly technical rate. They said had I been male, I would have gone into a nuclear rate. That's not conceit, that's the Navy trying to push the highly technical rates. I thought I was going into an electronic rate....which had a civilian equivalant. But the month before I went in, they split the rate into those who analyzed the data, and those who worked on the equipment. I analyzed the data. No civilian equivalant.

So, after 3 years of high stress, I decided to cross rate to photographer. My dad had already taught me how to develop black and white film. I researched it and it was not required that I go to A-school. All I had to do was get my PARS signed off and do the training. I approached my Chief and asked him. He said he would not support that decision. I went to the other base ON MY OWN TIME and got everything signed off. I brought everything to him. I explained to him that it wasn't A-school required, that all I had to do was take the Photographer 3rd class exam (PH3) test and I could laterally convert. Instead of being an OTA3, I would be a PH3. He told me he had pulled strings with people he knew in Washington, D.C. and it was A-school required FOR ME. And the first opening wasn't available for 14 months. I had 12 months left on my enlistment. Or something to that effect. Whatever it was, it would require an extension on my enlistment.

I loved the Navy. I was what they called a lifer. I would have stayed in for at least 20 years, had they let me. I told them I would extend my enlistment if they put in that they would guarentee that I would have adminstrative duties for that entire time, they would keep me off the floor. They said they couldn't do that. I got out.

While I was in the Navy, I had a friend that was gay. Now you know where this article is really going. She was a really nice lady, mostly. She was enlisted. She mostly left me alone, but I considered us friends. She knew I was straight. She told me one time that most women in the military that were gay liked to bend straight women. It was more of a challenge than dating already gay women. She did just that. She dated a previously straight officer. The enlisted woman ended up getting put out of the military, while the officer claimed that she was blackmailed into the relationship, and got off scott free....no charges. I knew my friend. I don't think there was blackmail, maybe coercion, but not blackmail. There might have been remorse on the part of the officer, so what? A reason to destory another person's career?

That said, this was a time of don't ask, don't tell. I knew she was, she knew I knew, we didn't discuss it very often. I didn't have to stay in the same barracks room with her so it didn't matter to me. She had a desk right next to mine, but that was as close as we got. We sometimes socialized, but we were friends, like having a male friend. But if you think it was all quiet back then, you've been under a rock. We had women openly dancing together in the enlisted club and kissing. This was in the mid-1980's. Now you couldn't be a man and openly gay, but it was nothing to be a woman and openly gay. If you were a man on a ship and it was found out you were gay, you got thrown overboard. I asked one time why that was. Why didn't the women get thrown out? Why was it so prevailant? I was told, discretely, that there were too many women high up that were gay.

My opinion is that I would rather share a barracks room with a man than a gay woman. After hearing from my friend (and remember, I'm not a homophobe...I considered her a friend) that it was a sort of hobby of her and her friends to bend straight women. They considered it a challenge. If you lived in the same room, would they take no for an answer today? This was 25 years ago. Times were much different 25 years ago. What do you do now, when someone makes a pass at you in your own room? Can you imagine the stress that's gonna put on our military? Now they not only have to worry about the enemy, but friends. And what if they don't take the advances....I've lived with an abuser, it's not any fun. As a matter of fact it was so stressful on me, it caused me to develop epilepsy. Can we put as much stress on our soldiers and sailors as possible?

I believe this is another step at demoralization of our country. You can see the video that was uncovered by someone on asamom.org that I posted at the top of my blog. It's a former KGB agent telling how it would happen (since it was filmed possible around 1986 - it's not dated) when it comes. He said that if America falls, we won't have anywhere to defect to. He also said that if people think they want a Marxist-Leninist utopia and they bring about the fall of America, they will become disillusioned when they don't get that utopia and join the desentors. That's when the people pulling their strings (in our case I suppose that would be China) would swoop in and eliminate them. His words, not mine.

Demoralizing, sort of like pushing the gay agenda? I think you need to take a look at the morals of other nations. One of the arguments for giving up control of the internet is that America lets too much garbage on it. They say our free speech lets on too much triple x stuff, and if they had control, they would censor that off. China and most other countries haven't suffered that "moral decline." So, when America falls, and China swoops in to take over, do you think the gays will have any rights? No. So, who are the far let trying to please? They aren't pleasing me. Are they pleasing you? Are these your values? What is the numbers in America that is gay? Why are we pandering to 1.51% of the population (according to a "broad-based coalition of gay rights organizations and homosexual advocacy groups." And this includes gay, lesbian and bi-sexual. Have to admit it doesn't include transgender. Oh, just found another .7% for gay men as a separate catagory, and lesbians as .32%. This was found on http://www.adherents.com/adh_dem.html. We are going to let 2.53% of the population let our morals go down the tubes, and threaten the security of our military?

Now I'm all for free speech, and letting them have their say. I fought for that. But when 2.53% of the population of America starts to determine policy? That's not a Republic....that's a Banana Republic.