I Don't Feel So Alone

I've had a lot going on medically lately. Seems like Satan has been attacking. I've cried out to God asking why me? I've been feeling lately like I could break under the strain of it all. I even felt like I should pull in and just take care of my family for a while. I felt like I should forget all this politics stuff, my family needs me more. Besides, I'm just one person. Starting to sound like my brother in law.

Let me briefly explain what all has been going on in my family. This is not a pity party. This is just so that you can see how full my plate is. Some of you liberals who are sitting in your parent's basement with no job, just blogging away with nothing to do, or maybe you come home from your nice cushy job, and have a few extra minutes and decide to throw a few words on a page, take heed to my life. I'm sure there are more like me, I'm not alone. And I'm sure there are liberals out there with a lot on their plate and just as dedicated to their cause, I'm not saying we have a corner on the market.

First, I have the stuff I've always had: I have a Down syndrome adult son, who just turned 20. He's also autistic. He doesn't understand that he's not the center of the universe. I have to keep up with his meds and appointments. He just needed new glasses. Turns out that his vision had slipped to 20/80. He has snowflake cataracts and they can only correct to 20/30 now. I have a gifted son who just switched schools to a charter school. No drama there. He'll be 11 next month, a "tween," so lovely hormones are kicking in. He's severely ADHD, so we have med checks and I have to make sure I don't run out of meds.

I have epilepsy, so I have to make sure I eat right, get enough sleep, don't alter my caffeine intake drastically, etc. It's under control, but drastic changes could change that. All three of us have celiac disease. That's an auto-immune disease controlled with diet. If you think it's easy to cook gluten free ALL the time, you try it. Can't just say, don't feel like cooking, let's order a pizza. When you eat out, you have to read everything. When you shop, you have to read everything. And Walmart? They just relabeled everything in their nice white labels? And everything says "may contain wheat" which means we can't eat it. Even their drink mixes say that. We may boycott Walmart. Wonder why their sales are down? The whole Celiac community can't shop there. They aren't going to buy name brand in these hard times. They're going to other stores and buying their store brand.

Then, my husband was walking/running to get out of therain and ran across the church parking lot and tore the cartilage in his knee. He just had knee surgery. There were complications and his whole leg swelled up. First they thought he had a blood clot. He was also in the emergency room with suspected pancreatitis. Turned out his doctor over-reacted because she wasn't going to be in the office on Friday and if the numbers of his labs kept climbing, he wouldn't have made it the weekend, so she wanted him admitted. The ER released him. I had to drop and run at the ER, because I was on my way to my own appointment. I was getting my back X-Rayed because I've been having back pain that gets worse at night. I'm also a breast cancer survivor, and that's not something you want to hear...bone pain that gets worse at night. My x-rays came back clear...praise God. But what is it? So today I went for a T-spine MRI to find out just what it is....

It's a good thing I'm not a conspiracy theorist. Half way through the MRI, just after they injected the dye, and put me back in the machine, the MRI machine broke...with me in it. Isn't this how the movie always starts? Conservative blogger is in an MRI, the President's men find out she has an MRI so they put a gun to the tech's head and "break" the machine. People are running and screaming, bullets are flying.... But he comes out, "Man, did you hear that? The machine broke..." As he pulls me out manually. He has to reboot the machine, like rebooting a computer....said it was the second time this week. Oh, but they validated my valet parking for me. I valet parked because I happened to have $6 in my wallet and I was late for my appointment because of traffic. God is good. I tipped her $1 anyway.

So, my plate is full. Enough to make me want to take care of me and my family only, ya think? Oh, and I forgot, I had my mammogram yesterday. Thank God, it came back clear, too. After finding a cyst 7 months ago. After taking care of my family, I'm a month late for that diagnostic mammogram.

But, yesterday, I sat a really long time in the waiting room, in the little gown they give us, because there was an emergency. I sat with another lady because they only have 2 rooms. We talked small talk. What do you say to another woman in a gown that only Velcros at the top? We talked a little religion....I'm Baptist, she's Methodist...really, I used to be Methodist. Do you watch Glenn Beck? Really?! Love it! I'm discovering there are a lot more conservatives in the Dallas metroplex than I ever imagined. Not in Dallas proper, but in the surrounding areas. Dallas, we have you outnumbered!

I am embarrassed to say that we have two city hall members in Dallas calling for a boycott of Arizona. I don't think they'll get it. Well, maybe from Dallas the city, but not from Dallas county. If there is one good thing that has come from all my medical appointments lately, I have learned that I AM NOT ALONE. America is waking up. We do outnumber the liberals. I was afraid that America was asleep because my brother in law lives in Dallas, and he is still asleep. Maybe he moved to Dallas because he feels more comfortable with that ilk. It did teach me, no matter what, I can't give in. No matter my health issues. No matter what Satan throws at me...there is always time to fight. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Bring it on.

Lori Ann Smith