Friday, April 2, 2010

Guam will capsize? Time for humor

OK, follow me on this one. We have elected the smartest among us to Represent us. My 5th grader heard the comment by Representative Hank Johnson (GA-D) yesterday about Guam and I haven't been able to stop him from laughing yet. We have come up with the following scenario together: (Warning: this is a bit of a farce!)

What would happen if global warming caused the ocean levels to rise? These Islands are apparently not attached to the ocean floor very well, so they must be like corks, right? I know when the water rises and a cork is lighter than water, it will pop loose. So all these islands will pop loose and be free floating. So, global warming will cause the oceans to rise, because of the ice caps melting, and all of these islands will pop loose from the bottom of the ocean, and be free floating across the ocean.

That was the Honorable Hank Johnson's concern, that adding troops to Guam would cause it to "tip over and capsize," if they all were to go to one side of the island. Of course, if they all could get a big paddle, and hang on tight, and hold their breath, they could be like they were in a canoe and when it did tip, they could right it and do a massive roll over, but I digress. So, which island goes first? But, the oceans rise, the islands start popping off the bottom of the ocean, and start free floating. How far does the ocean have to rise before America pops off? And will it break off at the Panama Canal? Will South America pop off too? Will we become Water World, with all of our continents floating around? Maybe we can strap them together like little life rafts? Did you ever notice the Obama symbol does look a little like the tattoo on the back of the little girl's back? Do we have to hold Obama upside down to get a map back home? Maybe not, but I do know that he's turned my world upside down....but once again, I digress.....SQUIRREL!

Oh, Wow! We will become the Pangaea that we used to be way back millions of years ago, or is it billions, or trillions? We can fit the continents together like a big puzzle. Maybe we can send a submarine down to the bottom of the ocean and look for Atlantis, because there's a hole in the puzzle....remember that's where scientists say that Atlantis fits.

So, global warming has melted all the ice caps, the ocean has risen to the point that all the continents have popped off the floor and are now free floating. I guess we need to keep our nukes so we can move those continents in place. Obama better not disarm. Do you think we can get the other governments to cooperate? Obama wants a one world government, anyway. This would be the step in that direction. Getting all the continents together into one Pangaea land mass. It would definitely cut down on transportation costs. The rest of the ocean would be for pleasure only. We have to decide where to move this mass of continents. How do we all agree? Or do we just set up Obama as king of the world and leave the decision to him? And what would that do to the rotation rate of earth?

Of course, there is no God, so there is no way that He designed the earth with some silly thing like tectonic plates that attach the continents to the earth's crust permanently, islands included. Islands aren't bigger under the water than on top of the water, meaning you could dive under and look up and see the underside of the island. You can't walk out into the ocean....you fall off...and the world is flat. If you sail out far enough you fall off of it.....

So, I guess my idea of strapping all the continents together won't work, just like global warming won't work....the science is faulty. Bummer. SQUIRREL!

Lori Ann Smith

No comments:

Post a Comment