We all have to count the cost of everything daily. Soldiers have to count the cost of defending their country before they join the military. Some don't get the opportunity because they were drafted. I was a volunteer. I did count the cost, although I have to admit I wasn't fully apprised of what I was getting into at the time. But, even had I known, I would have made the same decision. I would do the same thing. Granted, I am a peace time veteran. The cold war is nothing like being actively at war. It was still stressful, knowing that the Russians were right off the coast and could fire their missiles at any time. So, don't slight the stress. Ask my husband. When you get a US submarine doing an evolution with it's engines (because they still do it, I won't use the official term for that evolution, nor will I explain it for national security), because they can't surface and are covert, but need to get a message out, it's stressful. We did that. We were there to interpret that message and send it on. We didn't know what it said, just that they needed help. I knew the job was stressful.
There's a quote my pastor gave yesterday in church from Gucci: "Bitterness of poor quality lingers long after the sweetness of low price has faded from memory." Things you pay dearly for, are remembered much longer than things you get cheaply. That's why America's freedom is remembered so dearly. It didn't come with a cheap price tag. It came with blood. I may not have bled for that freedom, but I put in my time and my stress to it's success. I maintained. I served. I held the fort. I am proud of my country.
There is another thing that comes with a high price tag. Taking a stand for God. I posted my testimony previously. When I decided to give my life to God, some may be wondering what that entailed. Did I suddenly stop everything I was doing before? Did I become a wet blanket and no fun to be around? Was I suddenly a holy roller? I would like to say that I lost all my old habits, I became just like Jesus overnight, but I'd be lying.
I'd like to start with the sinner's prayer. You've heard those words before, I'm sure. I'm not going to post your typical one that you've seen before. I'm going to post the one I actually said (as best as I can remember) that I actually prayed when I came to Him. "Lord, I know I've screwed up my life, beyond my ability to fix it. Please take my life, I don't care if you fix it, or not, but it's yours. If you want to fix it, that's great, if not, I'll stay here, where you're finding me now. My life is in Your hands. It's not my will, but Yours. I'm sorry for messing my life up. I want to change it, but I know I can't, without You. Please come into my heart and help me change. Make me want what You want for my life."
At the time I prayed that prayer, the only people I knew were bikers. Bikers are some of the nicest people you would ever meet. Some would give you the shirt off their backs, even if it's the only thing they have. I fully expected to stay there. I expected to be preaching in the bars. But God didn't leave me there. I moved back home to my home town, in Cape Girardeau, for 4 years, then reconciled with my husband and moved on to Hawaii, where we got remarried. God doesn't always move quickly, but he moves. During those 4 years, I worked a factory job, just me and my handicapped son, never knowing what to expect in income. I had to sell a family heirloom to eat at one point. I felt like Joseph, being sold into slavery.
I still don't know why God gave me that experience, beyond the possibility of having to go through it again in today's time. Or maybe being able to relate my experiences on this blog. Or possibility even to be able to talk to people who are going through it now. Who would you rather talk to? An elitist who has never seen poverty, or someone who had to sell a family heirloom to eat? My mom is still mad at me for that one. I was too proud to call her and ask for money. And in case you're wondering, it was a marble statue that was handed down the family from about 3 generations and was instructed to be handed down the female side of my family. I had one son at the time, and had just been saved....I figured I would see grandma in Heaven and she would understand.
We're looking at a man in the highest office in our country right now who is older than me by a couple years....born in 1961...who is telling a nation of Obama Zombies not to trust anyone over 30. Who are you going to trust? The liberals have been trying for years to convince everyone they aren't racist. The conservatives are traditionally the Christians. Who are you going to trust? Someone who wants you to think for yourself, or someone who tells you how to think? Who are you going to trust? Someone who tries to teach you how to speak correct English, or who figures you're so dumb we might as well make your illiteracy into it's own language? (see Ebonics - and even Bill Cosby is against Ebonics). How Racist is that? It's not cultural, that's saying you're too stupid to learn correct English. That's saying "You're different." We say, "You're different?" The Bible doesn't recognize a difference. Neither does the constitution. All men (as in mankind) are created equal. So feminists don't get all up in arms.
If the feminists are all for women, why are they for abortion? Don't the female babies have rights? There are too many inconsistencies in things not of God. God is consistency. It's when mankind gets involved that things get messed up. The biggest question people ask me, is why is there sin in the world, why is there ugly things. Why were you molested at the age of 3 if there is a God? Why would God allow a 3 year old to be molested? How would I know beauty if I didn't see ugly? If you are only exposed to the beautiful things in life, do you know what's not? Look at rich kids. Do they appreciate anything in their life? Do you appreciate the things you have unless you lose them? Do you appreciate you kids until you see a handicapped child walk by? When you kid is being the worst he's ever been, and then you see that parent of an autistic kid walk by and you think, "There but by the Grace of God go I."
I don't mind being the example, if it brings someone to God. I've been through cancer, epilepsy, I have a child with Down syndrome and autism and a gifted child. BUT, I don't go through it alone. Sometimes it ain't a cake walk. I ain't gonna lie, sometimes I wish I could actually HUG God, because church friends will leave you. God doesn't, but he can't physically hold your hand. Once you step out in faith, Satan will attack you. If I had lived next door to the apostle Paul, I don't think I would have walked this walk, either.
But, also, God rewards you for your walk. Is it a tangible reward? Sometimes. Is it all the time? No. It's according to His will. Do we always know His will? No. I do know that the will for everyone is to walk the way He wants us to. That is in relationship with Him. It's not a list of rules to follow. It's talking to him, listening to Him. It's more than rules, it's a relationship. If you have a friend, and he does something you think is bad for him, you're not going to drop your relationship, are you? You may lecture him on how it's bad for him, but you won't stop being his friend. That's how God is with us, that's how Jesus is with us. And you can't bargain with him...you can't say, just let me do this, and I'll be better. He'll let you do anything you want. He's not going to force you to be good. You still have free will even as one of his children. But it's like with our children. There will be natural consequences. That's what America is going through now. We've fallen away. Can we come back? We are always one generation away from atheism. You can't inherit Christianity. Don't trust your children to absorb your principles. You have to teach them. And it's not "religion." It's all about relationship. God is a person. If you don't "get it" you don't "have Him."
Lori Ann Smith
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